Monday
Debauchery
This past week, will go down in my history as the Week of Alcohol. An entire week dedicated to debauchery.I decided to google my favourite word "debauchery" and this is what i found.
Speechless
Thats fucking absurd. Last night was one night too many. After several hours drinking with Miss E and several new aquaintances I was sick. I never ever throw up from drinking. I drink therefore I am. Not last night. I swear I looked like a filthy crack whore as I staggered out of the club. 
ShamelessSpeaking of drunken behaviour, Miss E has broken bones whilst
Miss E & Mr T3 in Montys
Miss E and I, recording a song in the 70's
On a completley different note, there is an apple in my apple tree which mocks me on a daily basis. Its on the highest, most unreachable branch and it looks like the most perfect apple ever grown in the history of the world. Put it this way, Adam and 
This apple sums up my entire life. My constant quest for the unreachable. I want what I cant have, if this apple was on a reachable branch it could rot for all I care. 
Well its back to reality for me now. Im broke, my livers pickled, my stomach has no lining, my teeth are killing me. I think a week of gin soaked pill popping has eroded all my tooth enamel.Im fucked.
Posted by Edd at 28.8.06
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Saturday
The Races
If I never see a glass of champagne again I will die a happier, wealthier man. The races was a fantastic day, despite not even seing one race, you see we spent the entire day in the Moët & Chandon Lounge.
Posted by Edd at 26.8.06
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Wednesday
Insincere apologies
My friends across the globe, have you missed me? Im sorry for the infrequent posts but you see ive been far too busy partying working and recovering, and we all know that stoli isn't going to drink its self. Let me fill you in (no pun intended).Sunday the "day of the lord" (its actually an pagan SUN worship day, but the christian church liked it and stole it, don't you know, I bet before that happened Christians spent their seventh day in coke fuelled drunken orgies at chariot "key" swapping parties.
Back to me, Sunday was spent sipping coronas and discussing mortality with a couple of Liberian women. The Liberians fucking loved myself and Miss C, I swear they were convinced she was connected to royalty. Why is it African people love my hair? I fucking hate it, they're welcome to it. I once considered moving to Africa to become a man of Mystique, my whole life dedicated to being an object of desire. Then I realized they don't have a Harvey Nichols, and having stoli imported would be far from cheap. That put a stop to that.
Monday, had possibly the most pointless board meeting of my life, why was I there? Why is it only Monday? Has the clock stopped ticking? By the end of I was even thinking "why was I born?"
Tuesday was spent in Pitcher and Piano (P&P), the most pretentious place in Harrogate. It is always packed to the rafter with poseurs, you know the type that spend 3 hours infront of the mirror before they leave the house, and the women, are even worse. Here's my "beauty" technique, and believe on this one, if needed I can peform the whole routine in 10 minutes flat. Shower, slap on some moisturizer (has to have Q10 in it) and some leave in hair conditioner, ruffle you hair and voila. Id personally like to think I have inner beauty, god who am I kidding, my heart is probably as black as my lungs, and I smoke 40 a day. Anyway I was out with the lads and I spent half the night texting (not my choice) to keep busy. I just cant do all (str8) male situations, actually I think Im just crap in large groups Im defiantly more a 1 on 1 person.
That was my week, doesn't sound that full now ive wrote it down, but believe me ive not fucking stopped for breath.
I have finally risen to the ranks of "Corporate Perks". Ive managed to blag a couple of tickets to York Horse Racing, tomorrow for Ladies Day the day when the betting and fashion stakes are high. It will be myself, Miss C, Mr S and a few more others and I cant wait. Hopefully Ill meet a nice corporate type, who falls in love with me and wants for nothing more in life than for me to live the life of a Footballers wife. Ill be the stay at harrods husband. I just hope to god I pick some bloody winners (I need a serious cash injection), oh and that the champagne is free. Ill let you know how it goes and hopefully post some pics on Friday.
Shout out to Robee- thanks for the email, keep reading bitch.x
On a completely different note, I, the ugliest gay that ever gayed has been featured on Sexy Gay Blogger of the Day I am soooooooo flattered if not a little astounded. Words can not describe my joy. I fucking love it.
Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 23.8.06
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Saturday
There's a party in my pants, and your invited
Last night I was Miss E's "+guest" to a joint Hen/Stag party in Harrogate. We did the usual bars before spending the night in Moko Lounge, where we somehow managed to blag free Champers all night (maybe Miss E is fucking the manager). The music was awful, commercial R&B and Hip hop, they could have sacked the DJ and just played MTV, it was that bad.However, after several bottles of bubbly I found myself working the party crowd and
"Theres a party in my pants, and your invited".
He fucking loved it.
More bubbly.
The next thing I remember is politely declining cocaine at some random after party (it was 6am). Is everyone in Harrogate a coke head? Probably. We then went back to his house. The next few hours Ill leave to your filthy imaginations.
I woke to the most excruciating hangover of my life, yet through the hazy shaky vision and pounding head I had a moment of clarity, it suddenly dawned upon me that Im not quite ready for a relationship.
Fortunately for me he is jetting of to Turkey tomorrow for a week so I have a few days to plan my next move. We swapped numbers and we both said how much we'd like to see each other again. Why am incapable of telling the whole truth? Probably because he lived 30 miles away and I wanted a free lift home. I dont do public transport at the best of times, especially not whilst looking like Ive been dug up.Maybe he was thinking the same thing, maybe he was just being polite, maybe its maybelline, who knows. At the end of the day I had a fantastic night, met a really nice guy, regained my homojo and gave my liver yet another Champagne thrashing.
Im back in business.
Posted by Edd at 19.8.06
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Thursday
Lust
I know what I just said, but just look what I found. I can hear Harvey Nicks screaming my name and seducing my credit card.Posted by Edd at 17.8.06
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Big spender
"Lifes too short to settle for an average standard of living. Work it like you own it, fake it till you make it and swipe that plastic like you'll never swipe again." Edd.d 2004In 7 days I recieve my annual bonus. Ive put a great deal of thought into how it will be spent, and today I made my descision. The old Edd would have been in Harvey Nicks quicker than you can say "Dolce and Gabbana". The old Edd would be on the next first class flight out of the shit hole he calls home. The old Edd would have run up earth shattering, economy crippling cocaine and champagne bills at the most expensive bars in town. In short the old Edd would live like a king, or should that be queen for a week before returning to relative poverty.
The new and supposedly improved (Im yet to see any "improvment") Edd is going to pay off his all his debts. I know its the right thing to do, but god its soo fucking lame. When did I change? The old me has been tamed with time. I can barely remember the last time I spunked a few thousand pounds in a matter of minutes in the shops. I can barely remember my last line of charlie or tab of E. When did I last order bollinger in a bar? I cant remember either, and the last time i flew first class was 4 years ago. 4 fucking years, that means I have flown cattle class arround 10 times since.
What am I becoming? Is this what it means to be poor? It seriously scares me.A firends parents once gave me a piece of advice (and this guy is filthy rich so he knows his shit). He told me "never reduce your spending, only ever increase your income". By reduing your spending you limit you possibilities and vice versa. When I heard this I took it as a one way ticket to American Express fuelled debauchery.
I shopped, therefore I was.
However, I racked up a serious ammount of debt, probably equal to some shitty third world countries gross domestic product. Thats when I changed, i needed to change before the light at the end of the tunnel burned out. Im pleased to say that in 7 days time after 2 years repayments my money "troubles" will be over, and for once i will have money in the bank.
The problem is, spending money excites me. I feel like a different person when im flashing my cash, transformed into an idealogical world. Its my haven, an escape from my troubles, you could even say its my therapy. If it is therapy, one things for certain - I have fucking expensive shrink. I keep trying to think of a replacement activity and the only thing I can thing of is to get a boyfirend, and we all know that aint gonna happen.
The only other thing to do in hell hole Harrogate is Drink, and belive me its not physically possible for this bitch to drink more Stoli than he already does.
I need to inject a bit of Glamour into my lifeless life. Make me an offer I cant refuse or just send me your suggestions.
For now thats it,
Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 17.8.06
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Tuesday
PASSED
This bitch is back in business. Today I received the email Ive been dreading for soo long. The email which tells me whether 3 years hard study was worth my while. And guess what bitches, I PASSED(i now have letters after my name dont you know).Maybe I should have a little more faith in myself.If it wasnt 9:30am I'd crack open the bollinger. Who am I kidding, like thats ever stopped me before. Grab a glass, "Cheers- I'd like to thank............"
Posted by Edd at 15.8.06
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Sunday
It has always been my greatest ambition to amass the worlds greatest collection of designer sunglasses, however Ive decided to put that on a back burner. Im currently listening to radio1 (the UK's best radio station) broadcasting live from Cafe Mambo in Ibiza.
There playing all the old classics, faithless insomnia, adagio for strings, cafe del mar all the top trance tunes, it takes me back, and god it feels good.Mr S, Mr J and Miss C I fucking love you all, and I cant wait till were all partying together again No one, and I repeat can party like we can. Mega mega white thing, mega mega........... We have to visit Ibiza as soon as possible, and before its too late, Mr J is soon to marry etc.
Adagio is playing right now, and that build up to when the record breaks is possible the must amazing, inspiring, piece of music in the whole fucking world, when it breaks I have a total sense of inner peace and orgasmic pleasure which cant be rivalled.
We owe it to our selves to get there and live it. If I only do one more thing before I die we have to party like its our last in Ibiza. Ibiza was created for us, we were born for Ibiza, infact we ARE Ibiza.
Call me bitches give me the dates, and ill be on the next first class flight, screw it id even travel cattle class, this is Ibiza were talking about. The best fucking party if the world.
Posted by Edd at 13.8.06
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Saturday
Insomnia
Its midnight and despite only having one hours sleep last night Im wide a wake. I have spent the entire day on the sofa with 4 litres of evian and a packet of cigarettes. When im seriously hungover, i love watching films such as Train Spotting, Spun, Go and my all time favourite Human Traffic. Today was no exception, infact i think i watched soo many films I think my Sky+ needs a service.My ex recently asked for a rematch. I ignored him. Then he asked again. I ignored him again. This my friends went on for quite some time, a whole 6 days. The dilema I have is he is everything I look for, except for one significant thing. He lives with his parents (hes 32, thats not fucking natural). He's also pro living in Harrogate, which Im not. Harrogate for me is soo last season. Im ready for a change of scenery, but he'd be happy with the same view for the rest of his life. So there you have it. The answer is NO. Though Ill probably live to regret it.
Mr S2 has
Me, Miss C and Mr S2 -minibar harrogate.
Me hiding (because im on public transport) 
Miss C2 and I.
Me and The bunnys.
PS. My teeth look quite white in these photos.Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 12.8.06
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Birthday Boy
A big happy birthday to Mr T.My heads all over the place right now, so ill just play pictionary and leave the serious posting for another time. Ps i didnt get home till 6am, and forgot to turn off my alarm. Believe me waking up at 7:30 on a saturday morning, after 1hours drunken sleep is not a good look. Remember bitches, your liver is evil and must be punished.
Posted by Edd at 12.8.06
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Friday
Humiliation
I havent humiliated my self in quite some time (since last saturday night) so I thought I may aswell do in a few thousand peoples offices and lounges.The reason why I should have been aborted, or at the very least suffocated at birth:
Remember I drink, therfore I am.What a fucking mess.
Posted by Edd at 11.8.06
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Thursday
Thinking about my last post reminded my of my favourite poem. Ive posted it on here before, but i know for a fact non of you lazy ass bitches will have read my archives.You Learn. By Veronica A Shoffstall 1971
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn
that love doesn`t mean leaning
and company doesn`t always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren`t contracts, presents aren`t promises, and
you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a man, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow`s ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much, so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure, you really are strong, you really do have worth
And you learn
And you learn with every goodbye,
You learn...
Posted by Edd at 10.8.06
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.......
Terrorists "strike" again
These days I really don't know what to believe. Whilst working for a global media company I've seen far too much to simply take TV coverage as fact. What I do know is that when you put a dog in a field full of sheep they all get scared, cling together and the farmer can herd them in the direction he wants. Fear breeds fear. Maybe there really was a threat to the airlines. Who knows. I for one couldn't care less. Make love not war. Unfortunately for American and British people BritMerica have not been making love with many countries of late.I for one actually want to fly to America right now just to prove a fucking point that my life can not be contained or directed like cattle. Where are my airmiles when I need them. I bet first class to the states will probably be a cheap a cattle class right now.
This week I found out a close friend has cancer, probably not of the life threatening kind, but chemo is definitely on the cards. Ive got quite mixed feeling surrounding the whole thing but that my friends is for another time.
Ive been thinking recently about my sexlife. Or should I say the reason why I don't have one, despite receiving offers. I finally figured it out. Its not that I don't want sex, far from it. In fact I swear im on the verge of a hormonal meltdown. I could seriously implode at any given minute. The problem is I want more than just a drunken fumble in some strangers bedroom room. Only I think Im the only gay gay for miles that does. I think It must be to do with my ever increasing desire to leave the parental house (for the umpteenth time) and settle down (for the umpteenth time). Now im not saying I want to trade in all the glamour and debauchery, don slippers and buy a cat, but It would be nice to have a nice guy to come home to, and keep me warm at night.
Where are all the decent, sorted guys who want a life filled with more than Dolce and Gabbana, clubbing and one nighters. There all with their fucking boyfirends that's where, its just losers like me left on the shelf. If your a nice guy, or you know one, email me right this fucking minute.... (and yes you read that right, I, the guy who worships at the alter of Dolce and Gabbana said that there IS more to life).
Posted by Edd at 10.8.06
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Wednesday
I fucked a goat
I was listening to metalica earlier, trying to channel my inner angst. I came across this beautifull, almost angelic song which I hadnt heard in what seems like a life time."So What" - Metallica
Its pure Lyrical genious, what other song can you think of which contains the lyrics "I fucked the Queen, I smoked rock, I even sucked an old mans cock", "I spewed up in a pint of piss" and who could forget the timeless classic "I fucked a goat, I rammed my cock right down its throat".
A guy a work called me behind the times for not having a car. He had the - what the fuck is wrong with you look plastered all over his face. Firstly. Only peasnts drive them selves, I dont drive im driven. Secondly, your from the Channel Islands, which is as good as saying "my mother fucked her brother, now Im here and my sister is also my cousin". I do not take critisism from inbreds.
Of course I didnt say that to his face. I pretended that I was trying to save money blah blah blah. If only they knew. I could run a fleet of fucking Mercs with the ammount i spend on my taxi account each month.
The real reason is I always promised my self that my first car will be at the very least a BMW or a Merc, and right now I'd be lucky to afford a Skoda. I would rather be skinned alive in a bath full of vinegar than be seen in a Skoda, the only thing I can think of which carries the same level of shame as a Skoda is being seen in public wearing Burbery Check.
Heres a few photos from the weekend. Miss C2, ME, Mr S, Miss C, Mss L all dressed as
Friday night, Miss C and I taked in Fibre. We dont look that bad considering its 4am and we'd been on the booze for about 10 hours. (Ill take the photo down if u want hun). What the hell has become of my arm. I can feel a order being placed for a home gym, even thought I am a member of not one but two gyms (having only one gym membership is SOO last season) im too fucking lazy to leave the computer and actually visit one.
Thats all for now folks, stay tuned.Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 9.8.06
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Monday
Im soo over it.
Miss B is right. I appologize - for apologising yesterday. Why should I care what I write, this is my blog. If im happy i'll tell you about it and if im sad if force it down your fucking throught. Only kidding, sort of.
Today was a much better day. Finally mannaged to eat after a 2 day alcohol-induced non religious fast. A cheesy beans jacket potatoe never tasted so dam good.
Party Poker emailed me today, congratulating me on earning a whole $65 last month. What to spend it on? A luxury cruise, Louis Vuitton Weekend bag, first class flights to Tokoyo? It wouldnt even cover my taxi bill for saturday. Oh well its better than nothing (i suppose), better in my virtual wallet than theirs.
Addictive and compulsive gamblers unite and join partypoker.com via my site. Look, if your going to spunk your rent cheque/mothers inheritance/your baby childs milk money/or you measly state pension at least have the fucking decency to do it via me, and help to make me the rich bitch I soo obviously deserve to be (plus they'll give you a minimum of $25 dollars FREE to spend). Everone loves free stuff, and im no exception. If a see a product in a shop with a free gift I couldnt give a dam what the product/freebe is, I make it mine quicker than you can say "do you take platinum plastic".
On a completley different note. I may be joining the holiday home set. Im currently in talks with Mother and Father dearest about splitting a pad (thats a crib for you US readers out there) in the Cape Verde islands. They believe I should put my pink pounds to better use. Whats wrong with blowing £500/month on Vodka? I dont know either, but they have better ideas. If it happens I will have to part my my beloved Stoli. It will be hard, Stoli and I have been though a gread deal together. She's what makes me me. One could almost say she's the life blood, running though my viens. But this is a serious equity producing opportunite.
CApe Verde 5 years ago, arriving by sea. That was the only row of houses on the island. I bet theres a fucking "Sandals" there now.Cape Verde. Its going to be the new Caribbean dont you know. I visited there several years ago. Being the only white person on an remote island is an unforgetable experience, people were literally running to meet, greet and grope me (I fucking loved it). But what shocked me most what the contrast between natures beauty and nurtures brutality. Inteligent, beautifull people who wouldnt look out of place on a Vivienne Westwood runway, living on a truely beatuifull island, yet in complete squalor and poverty.
As always ill keep you posted. Im off to spend my $65 at the poker tables.
Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 7.8.06
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Sunday
Emptyness
"Well do it all , everthing, on our own. We don't need , anything, or anyone"Fucking Lies.
I partied hard this weekend and came crashing back down to earth this afternoon. I was watching "My Best Friends Wedding" with Julia Roberts. Its your typical hollywood love triangle rom com. I normally hate those soppy films, but I swear I have never cried so much. Afterwards I flicked over to MTV and saw this video by Snow Patrol. It really sums up evertying im currently feeling.
For the past hour or so I havent been able to stop crying. I know it because i partied too hard and my dopamine levels are running on empty but I cant help the way I feel. Maybe I needed to hit rock bottom to finally admit a few things to myself.
My greatest fear is growing old alone, and I can honestly see it happening. I miss sharing a bed, i miss intimacy. I miss being held. I hate the fact that my only emotional outlet is a fucking keyboard. Being alone does bother me, and the feeling of loneliness only gets stronger. I know its the oldest problem in the world, and im ashamed of my self for ranting on here, but believe me I have to get this off my chest.
Last time i felt like this was when I was living in my old Flat in Harrogate. Everyone thought I was happy and smiley. You have to remember gay men and women learn at a very early age how to hide emotions. There were some dark times when night after night I'd cry myself to sleep, and gave serious thought to putting an end to it all. If I could choose one word to describe how i felt back then as I do now it would be "empty". This website http://www.youth-guard.org/gabi/Bills_Story.html helped me to put things into perspective, and every time i feel down I read it. This is not a cry for attention and dont you dare pity me, this is purely a release of emotion. Call it anger transference. They say its good to talk about your problems, well i find it helps to write.
Posted by Edd at 6.8.06
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Saturday
High Fibre
Last night was fan fucking tastic . I didnt get home unil 6 ish woke up at 10 (still pissed) and had my fist Stoli by 10.30. Its now 2 and im on my 5th large vodka, and yes Im still pissed (24/7).We started the night in my usual haunt Minibar in harrogate (the best place in the gate). Heres the faboulous Miss C in Minibar with a fag, and she's also having a cigatrette
Then we left for leeds. Yes bitches, I do on occasion use public transport. Heres Miss C with Mr S, and guess what he's Str8 (the story of my life).
This is what I become when I drink. Very Pretty (special). ALCOHOL - the reason why Im eternally single. Honestly Look at the fucking state of me - would you shag that...... Its a a dam good job I have plastic surgeon on speed dial. 
Anyway, after a few drinks we headed to Mission. Which was fucking dead. I swear a corpses in a grave yard have got more going on than that place. Before finishing the night in Fibre, which was amazing plus I met the nicest guy we headed to Oceana, apparently the best club in leeds. Best for what? Burbery and ASBO's? Believe me If I ever become a Slum Lord I now know where to send my residents....... Oceana - is the Pikey pits. So I checked out their website and this is what they promise. Looks nice doesnt it.However, this is what they deliver.
You will NEVER EVER see me in that hell hole again. Only ever go to Oceana if you have a liking for white trash, soverigns and man made fabrics.Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 5.8.06
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Thursday
3 meals a day.
Three meals a day, makes for a very unhappy gay.Some skanky bitch at work today verbally abused me for refusing to eat breakfast, telling me over and over the importance of three meals a day, and how eating breakfast has greatly improved her health. Healthy? You? Bitch, you could be Big Momma's stunt double, your in no position to preach.
This is my version of three aday.
And it DOES make a happy gay.We did make up later when she walked towards me brandishing a large padded envelope and a cheeky grin, saying "Edd's got a large packet" and I quipped back, "ah thanks, looks like I've got some mail too"
I finally did something productive yesterday and designed the first (of hopefully many) ad for the site.
I was trying to achieve the classic, age old advertising image of the "Camp yet chic gay superhero" (I have rainbow vision) Ok maybe I just made that up, but I think it kinda works, though im not sure about the lettering, may have to work on that.Any uber geeks out there listen up (im more geek chic than uber). I need to know how to get a .com, and at the cheapest price. I know I could give Posh a run for davids money but Im a poor boy really (with an understanding bank manager). I want to change this site to www.insidethegaygate.com but I have no the faintest idea where to begin. Plus I dont want to loose my past posts etc etc.
If you have your own site, please please link me or better still use my ad, if you want I can email you the html code. If you do use it leave your website address and I'll link you too.
Help me please thegaygate@hotmail.co.uk and for fucks sake leave me a comment.
Love you all as always.
Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 3.8.06
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Tuesday
Cam Whore
Cam-whoring -
I love drunken ebaying. Woke uptoday to find 2 packages gracing my door step. One was sunglasses, the other however was a drunked mystery purchase, so I rush in side and ripped it open with anticipation of finding something sexy, random or even obscene. But no, turns out it was a new mouse.How lame.
I was blind drunk, I should be ordering class A drugs, prostitutes and a curry instead I order a computer part. Im even a geek when pissed.
The other package was my new diesel sunnys. Let me tell you it is like fucking winter here today, rainy windy and cold - like thats gonna stop me wearing them/posing.
Despite popular belief sunglasses were not designed for blocking the sun. They were designed so that pretentious people like me can avoid eye contact with people like you, plus you can look people up and down (check them out) with out raising suspision.
Another thing I love is my new phone. It really is everything I ever dreamed and more. Plus Its allowing me to Cam Whore till the cows come home.
Dare I say it, I actually feel complete as a person now. This phone has made me whole. Matterial possesions and a big pair of feet are the way to my heart. Infact, whoeven needs a man when you have Dolce and Gabbana.
Ive been thinking about my next purchases. Ok God,I know I said that if I ever got my grubby mits on this phone I would never want for anything.....but......the thing is God, I was fucking lying. Every one, who's everyone knows Im a material boy living in a material world.
Here's my new hit list, in order of affordability not desire
Boyfirend -£0
Diesel Sunglasses (one can never have too many) £100+
Ipod Nano 4 gig in black. £200+
Gucci Trainers/Shoes in brown and cream £250+
Flights to NewYork and Toyko £800+
Zoom Teeth Whitening £900+
Louis Vuitton Weekend Bag -£1000+
Paul Smith Suit £1000+
Rado watch £1200+
*Lip Re-shape £2000+
*Cheek Implants £3000+
*Nose Job £5000+
Chanel J12 watch in White with Diamonds (If I hook a sugar daddy) £15000+
*Most wanted items
Why o why cant I be a contestant on Extreme Makeover, they could film a "Ugly Gay UK" special/extravaganza. Fuck Louis Vuitton, after £100k's worth of surgery I wouldnt need any one of those dam things to feel validated.
Anyone who is feeling generous please send £10k or more if you can afford it to my paypal account using the Donate button at the top of the page so I can be surgically mutilated.
Before and after pics (courtesy of photoshop ) ps Im really crap at photo editing
Before Surgery:
Post Op:
(is that really worth over £10,ooo- you decide)