Saturday
Nobodys Superman.
What goes up, must come down. I have the mother of all comedowns and lips that look like theyve been injected with $10,000 of collagen. Ill explain the up later but for now the downer.A friend sent me this clip and I swear I cried like a baby I know everythings ten times worse right now coz my body is running completly on empty but this vid really depressed me. I know I sound like a broken record right now. But this is my blog and ill cry if I want to.
Im nobodys superman.
This commercial from France starts off sad, but ended up putting a smile on my face
Posted by Edd at 30.9.06
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Thursday
Shelias Wheels
I couldnt resist this post.Heres the first clip of a current brittish TV ad, for Sheilas Wheels
Now heres the spoof.
Posted by Edd at 28.9.06
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Hobo Homo / Crack whore coture / Corpse chic, call it what you want but i look fucking awfull today, the only thing that could make me look good right now is a body bag.Miss E and I hit the town last night. We started the night in Montys before looking very sophitsicated in Revolution where the average drink costs $10+ ;~( This place amongst others are the reason Im eternally broke and hungover. Remember bitches - I drink, therefore I am.
This ones for you Miss E. Taken in Revolution
And for you Miss C. Taken in Ministry of Sounds Minibar
After several drinks we headed to Moko Lounge for a little dirty dancing.
I dont remember taking this photo . But you know what they say about the distance between a mans thumb and little finger...... its the length of his other hand
And heres todays obligitory creepy photo. I have no idea when, where or why this was taked.Reason # 25682 Why Im still single.
The next thing I know its 5am Im out side my house and my drivers throwing me out the car.Now im self medicating. I wish I had a Karen Walker style pharmacist. I know the box says to take no more than 2, but Ive just taken 8 co-codamols to try and ease my self inflicted pain. I hope I dont die, though this hangovers really bad and im prepared to take the risk.
If I do? Shit happens.
Posted by Edd at 28.9.06
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Tuesday
Wooooahh Were going to Ibiza
Its payday on Thursday and guess what im buying.Flights mother fuckers, flights!
For once Im booking way way in advance to avoid sky high prices later on. Ive decided to spend the week before christmas in Amsterdam (never been). Im travelling alone so I need all your tips and suggetions to fill my lonely days .The fact I have no one to go with is NOT going to stop me from seing more of the world.
Also next summer I shall be going the ledgend that is Ibiza. Guess how much for two return flights one UK to Amsterdam (or Barcalona) and one UK to Ibiza. £150, $300 for both. I know, that really is cheap as chips.
Just look at thesse vids of Pacha, one of Ibiza's best clubs, and my god I cant fucking wait to be there myself, although I may have to sell a kidney to buy enough Coke to get me through the week. I have a strong incling that Ibiza will become my new spiritual home.
Oh my god, how fucking cool. Watch this space........
Posted by Edd at 26.9.06
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Sunday
The Curse of Pink lighting
So my parents have fucked off and abandoned me for the weekend, thank god. But just look what they left me to eat
Although I did mannage to get one satisfiying "meal" Chez gaygate style.
This photo was taken about 2ish am and if im honest it gives me the creeps.
This is what can be achieved in an hours power shopping - when the delicate balance between good and evil lies in the swipe of a platinum credit card.
Ok, Im kidding, this time. After seing this sign I decided to have a clear out for the charity shop to create some much needed wardrobe space.
My mantra should be "Edd.d bringing fashion, glamour and Dolce & Gabbana to the homeless" Could I be more selfless?
Guess where ill be 6-late on the 12th October.
Its true what the sign says, it will be the most exclusive shopping event of 2006, - Ill be there.
Posted by Edd at 24.9.06
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Saturday
Shopping Lust
Ive spent the entire day in the Library, studying for my lectures tomorrow. By 5pm I had an overbearing urge for glamour. So I practically ran to the shops to buy U.S Mens Vogue, and UK GQ Style for Men. After 30 mins of looking a the gorgeous pics, and dreaming of the day when a Dolce and Gabbana model finally confesses his undying love for yours truly I had an even greater urge to shop, and I mean shop (Im talking Ab Fab hitting Harvey Nicks Stylee)However, I dont get paid until wednesday and guess what, Im flat broke. But a gay mans gotta shop, right. So I was just scouring ebay for a few designer bargains when I came across this disgusting monstrosity.
Reason # 1,026,955 (and counting) Why I loathe Burberry
Why on gods earth would any self respecting man want to pay £200/ $300+ (new) to become a Burberry Bumble Bee. Even more shocking is the fact that this hidiously vile article of clothing has a minimum bid price of £70/$140. This guy must have some serious issues if he thinks he is ever sell this motherfucker, even with a 99cents starting price it would take a small miracle or act of god to get a bid.The second this picture flashed up on my screen I literally threw up in my mouth. I am apaulled, ever so slightly disturbed, sickened to the pit of my stomach, but never ever speechless when it comes to the destruction and downfall of Burberry.
Later Bitches.xx
Posted by Edd at 23.9.06
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Friday
Remember a couple of weeks ago I met a guy who told my friend he like me, the he fucked off on holliday. Well I checked out his website today and he's posted his holliday snaps - of him with...his boy friend.Why do I do it, the first sign of a compliment and I delude myself into thinking that anyone could possibly see me as more than a friend or easy drunken fuck.
(there was a really long and very negative paragraph here about myself, but i decided to delete it - PMA and all that)
Rather than dwell on the negative I thought Id list a few things Id like to achieve in the next 5 years, in time order
Pass My Chartered Accountancy Exams
Quit England and move to Spain
Buy my first house
Sell my first house
Fall in love
Visit Tokyo, New York and Ibiza
Re-visit Moscow
Become fluent in Spanish
Posted by Edd at 22.9.06
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Tuesday
R.I.P
Please make sure your sat down, I have some truly terrible, earth shattering news to tell.It really breaks my heart to tell you this, my hands are trembling as I type and my lips are beginning to quiver.
Are you sure your ready.
It really breaks my heart to say this...... My dearly beloved has passed. The thing closest to my heart is no more.
Thats right folks. I have lost my Dolce and Gabbana cell phone. After only a 2 months in possession, the man who worships at the alter of Dolce and Gabbana has lost his dearly beloved. I really don't know how im going to cope, or even go on. Is there life after dolce? I really dont know.
The parental unit have been informed, and have fortunately put inplace a crisis management team made up of shrinks, doctors, personal shoppers, stoli importers and emergency pharmacists, ready to deal with my immanent downfall - life post DG.
It gets worse, hard to believe, I know. I rang t-mobile to inform them of my tragic loss and guess what, the fuckers tell me that its not insured, despite me specifically ordering insurance.
Cutting to the chase its going to cost me a minimum of $600+p&P for a replacement, if one can ever truly replace their first DG phone.
Please send your condolences via paypal to edd_gib@hotmail.com
I need to raise atleast $650 to cover the replacement, hell ive even started auctioning off my worldly possessions on eBay to kick start the fund. Its times like these when I wish I was a high class prostitute charging $5-10k per night, fuck it im so desperate right now id sucky sucky love you long time for 50 bucks a pop (kidding, honest)
Please spare me from prostitution and depravity and send your condolences via paypal to: edd_gib@hotmail.com or use the donate button at the top of the page
Comments and commiserations in the usual place bitches.
xxx ;~(
Posted by Edd at 19.9.06
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Friday
Monkeys
Monkeys watch videos made by monkeys, about monkeys.Posted by Edd at 15.9.06
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Certain Romance
I first heard this 12 - 14 months ago, and its been my anthem ever since. Plus there from my home town of Sheffield, If still lived there and wasnt raised uber posh-common I would have the same very accent.I fuckin love it and I hope you do too.
Arctic Monkeys - Certain Romance
Posted by Edd at 15.9.06
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Wednesday
Homophobia = Fear
Pack you bags were moving to IsraelLove this ad from Israeli TV
Its amazing how much things have changed over the years. However there is still a long fight ahead.
Today around 80 countries in the world still criminalize homosexuality and condemn consensual same sex acts with imprisonment, of these 9 (Afghanistan, Iran, Mauritania, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, United Arab Emirates and Yemen) still have the death penalty. Discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation and gender identity is still not recognized formally by the member states of the United Nations (even though human rights mechanisms such as the Human Rights Committee have repeatedly condemned discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity).
I am prouds to say that on the whole Europe is taking the lead in a fight for equality. Here in the UK, in the not too distant past you would have been imprisoned or worse for being gay. Now like in many other civialised countries it is illegal for us to de discriminated against on the basis of our sexuality and yes we can marry.
Which brings me to America. All I can say is "Land of the free"?
The laws may me changing, but are peoples attitudes? And we all know what the biggest influence of our time is.....
I know for dam sure those companies will never get their grubby mits on my pink pounds. And Mr Advertisers, may I remind you that we have huge disposable incomes.
Ill leave you with a few parting words from Mcenzie.
Couldnt have put it better my self.
xxx
Posted by Edd at 13.9.06
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Saturday
Happy birthday dad.
Ps. Can I borrow £1000 ($2000) - look at me, I desperately need to throw a Botox party.Your all invited, bring a bottle (Moet, Bolli or Crug) and a syringe.
Posted by Edd at 9.9.06
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Thursday
Back to nature
So its my day off today. Heres what I planned: Breakfast at Nero followed my a moring of study, lunch at Chez La Vie, some serious shopping at Hoopers and Rita Valpiani followed by a Haircut at Westminsters, capping off the day with a visit to my leisure club for a swim steam and jaccuzi.However last night Miss E and I hit the town and several bottles of wine later we started on the tequila, the rest they say is history,
Why is it Miss E (above) can look so great in Revolutions pink lighting where as I look fucking hideous? My photo below is wrong on oh so many levels.Reason # 25681 why Im still single - Pink lighting in Bar Revolution.
Lets just say all my plans went out of the window once we began our illustrious affair with Tequila.My bank manager rang me today to tell me that I have no fucking money left, and that my spending is borderline obscene. Well duh. Hello? I shop therefore I am, I drink therefore I am and I most certainly dont drive im driven.
Inorder to cut back the spending i decided to go for a walk arround my Village. Picture it now, its a bit like the UK show Emmerdale only with millionaires, several celebraties and gucci clad 50year old plastic surgery victims who drive porches. And before you ask, No, i dont drive a porche. There is a poor part of the village but "we dont talk about it"
I actually forgot how nice my village is. I may even go for a walk again.
The village church, which ive only been in once. And again No, when i walked in the walls didnt start bleeding.
Sheep....
...Have such an easy life.
And just to prove im in england
More pictionary "fun" later.Ta Ta.x
Posted by Edd at 7.9.06
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Tuesday
I am becoming
Saturday just passed i bumped into my new boss to be in Moko Lounge at arround 2am. We've worked together for 12 months now, she sits about a meter away from me and yet we have only had one conversation. On saturday however we were both drunk and She opened up, i opened up, I came out to her, made a fool of myself and kindof regretted the whole thing - not the outing, just my drunken stupor. What shocked me was her change in attitude towards me after the chat, it became firendlier and open.Ive been trying to work it out since and last night whilst wathcing an old re-run of SATC the truth bitch slapped me right on the ass.
Firstly, what the hell is going on with Samantha's hair, she looks like she should be filming Dynasty.The episode is about why married couples fear the girls. In the end carrie realises that they are not affiraid, only confused. People generally have a great desire to work each other out. To figure out their minds and undersand their intentions. Once people have you figured out they let down their guards and let you in.
Thats why my boss changed. She'd figured me out. For me though its difficult to be open. It has taken years of self controll and emotional evasion to bulid these walls arround me, and I have these invisible emotional barriers here for a reason. I used to think that barries were the only way to ensure protection.
Maybe the opposite is true. If people know your "intentions" and think they have you figured out then it is they who let down their guards. I know this sounds sinister but I may if the occasion calls use this
Another thing this episode made me realise is how much Ive changed since SATC first entered my life. When the show first aired many years ago I was a male version of Carrie, unlucky in love with a seriously demanding shopping addiction. Trust me on this one, I once worked out that between the ages of 16 and 20 i had spent arround £50k if not a great deal more ($100,000+) in the shops (my own earned money may I add).
Now watching it last night I realised i had become a male version of Miranda. Sorry what am I saying, the only thing female about Miranda is the fact she has lady bits, and lets face it we have no conclusive proof of that. I dont want to be Miranda, I want to be Sultry Samantha, unfortunately though, anyone change the exterior, our hair, clothes and surroundings in essence out costumes and stage but only an actor can change character. Even then all good shows come to an end.
Posted by Edd at 5.9.06
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Monday
Me Me Me
What a fucking week.Work, study, making a fool of my self, corporate case law, alcohol abuse, humilitation, coming out the cloest for the gazillionth time, spending a shit load of money money I dont have, meeting another very nice guy only to find the fuckers going on holiday, clubbing till 8am, more alcoholish, pescription drug abuse, dirty dancing, 200 cigarettes and a little debauchery thrown in for good measure.
Some random photos:
The fabulous smokers courtyard at my work. No filthy doorway for this bitch, there are normally arround 10 ducks milling around but theres an obese woman on my right feeding them chow mein trying to transfer her own gulit by fattening up innocent animals (the same way fat adults let their kids grow fat inorder to make themselves feel better):
I hate: The fact that my shadow is in dire need of the 
My drunken self (complete with deformed lower lip), with my best mate Mr S (who lives in spain-the lucky bastard):
Mr J and Miss E probably laughing at my terrible dancing:
Miss E's papparazi shot: