Sunday

Postit Note Fun

Never say i never give you anything. Here I am in all my glory. Tarantino better watch out.

Posted by Edd at 29.10.06

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Saturday

Love at first sight

Last night someone asked if I believed in Love at first sight.

I do.

I remember several years ago I saw this commercial for Channel Egoiste Aftershave. It took my breath away, I fell in love. I hadnt even smelt the fragrance, but I knew at that moment, I would wear Egoiste for the rest of my life. 6 years on IM still wearing it and my love for it is still as strong as ever.

Posted by Edd at 28.10.06

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Thursday

I / We are the strange

I forgot to mention that im going to be in a movie. Basically I sent the producer a couple of photos and they're gonna edit them to make me a zombie or monster or something (why bother editing them I hear you say). How fucking cool.

The films not finished yet but heres the trailer.

On my last post i got completely side tracked, I started talking about the show Spendaholics and ended up performing the "Poor Me" routine.

What i intended to say was that I am about to enter a strict regime, forget about communism, the Iraqi regime or Oprah-ism etc, I am about to embark on something much worse (for a gay man). Thats right, I am going on "Financial cold turkey" I am going to live on a budget. Part of the Spendaholic process is cold turkey, which means that life as you know it ends and you are reduced to living a meager existence on a strict budget.

I have decided that for the next month. I will allow myself £30 per week to "live" off and £100 for the entire month to entertain myself. Its about time really, my spending of late has been astronomical, somethings gotta give.

If I can do this I am capable of anything.

Posted by Edd at 26.10.06

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Spendaholics are over the rainbow

Last night was spent watching "Spendaholics" its a Uk TV show in which a life style expert and a psycologist take spendaholic people, notably women in their 20's and gay men and show them the errors of their ways point them in the right direction for change, whilst tackling the emotional roots of the problem. I love this show because I can so easily realate. What all the spendaholics and I have in common is the constant quest for the better things in life, and generally the underlying problem is that of acceptance.

My spending is down to 2 factors, my appearence and my lack of a place in society.

I was a hideous looking child, I was the kid who used to get punched in the face almost every day beacuse I was ugly. I was rideduled for the colour of my hair, my freckles, my monstertous teeth, because I was tall and skinny. When I reached the age of 14 my parents had my teeth fixed. It took about 18 months, a lot of pain and about £5000, but the day thoses braces came off my life changed.

People started treating me differently, I no longer horrified them. I was treated with dignity.

I realised at the age of 15 that my happiness had a £5000 price tag. What mattered was not what was inside, but what others saw. Money had a new purpose, it was a pathway to joy and that pathway quickly led to shopping. I remeber the first shirt I bought, it was this garish blue and white polka dot number costing £70. It was urban cammoflage, people saw the bright shirt not my face, and i liked it that way. My reflection no longer saddens me but I still use clothes to hide, old habbits die hard. Slowly but surely I am accepting who I am.

Now for society. I have always been different, an outsider, always looking in on the circle never part of. Growing up feeling alone I always wondered what it would be like to be popular, to fit in, be part of the crowd. I fantasised about being popular, being in on the joke not the butt of of. I still do. Im a gay man living in a staight world- a world which I dont understand. Blogging is my only connection to gay society. I find it quite sad really that my only link to a place I feel comfortable is virtual. Im still looking for my place in society.

I woke this morning to a rainbow.It took me back to a sunday afternoon on a cold winters day when I was 16. My mother and I were watching MTV and this song come on. I felt like I had been toutched by an angel. After the song finished, my mother and I both sat there, together but alone crying.

I cried because the song encompassed everthing I felt at the time, the dreams, the hopes and the heartache. Although I have achieved alot in the past 6 years, very little has changed. I still have the same hopes and dreams, I am just as lonely as I was then and I still think this is the most beautifull song ever performed.

Posted by Edd at 26.10.06

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gg

Yes in some circles I may be though of as the anti christ, but behold, I have found Jesus.

If GQ Mens style is the gay bible, then "I will survive" is the holy grail. For thousands of years gay men and middle aged women worldwide have unitetd to worship this song in all its glory.

Posted by Edd at 26.10.06

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Tuesday

Intoxicated

Being in a club, smashed off your face with this song playing is the closest you can be to god. I just cant get enough. It remings me of A certain Miss C (ps You have to send me the name of that mystery funky track you keep raving about.)


Its only been 3ish weeks since I was in the clubs and already it feels like a life time.

Clubbing is so fucking addictive, its like Cocaine, a little taste get the appeitite going, but the hunger can never be satisfied.

"I just cant get enough, intoxicated, its the feeling that i love, intoxicated, i just cant get enough, intoxicated, its the feeling that I loooove
..... (the story of my life)"


To bring the mood back ill share with you my suicide song. I guarentee this song will be playing when I die. I get a tear in my eye everytime I hear this, and according to itunes ive heard it over 300 times in the past few months. I appologise for the quality of the vids Ive waited for months for this song to appear on youtube and this post cant wait another day.

James Morrison - Better Man


there also a better FULL version on the song HERE

Posted by Edd at 24.10.06

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Thursday

Thankyou GQ Style

Here I am in all my glory depicting the infamous byranboy pose, click HERE to see the post

I was so frigin bored at work yesterday so I took the afternoon off, and with nothing to do (ie. no money to spend) I went for a stroll round my lovely town, had my haircut at Westminsters and finally went to the gym for a swim and a spa.

Here are some pics I took yesterday of my home town Harrogate , the gate, or as I prefer the gaygate. I cant believe its autum (fall) already.This is the Cennertaff, a memorial for deaths during the world wars. Im guessing it was designed by a man with a small winkle, its so obviously a shrine to the penis. This is Bettys Tea room, for some unknown reason elderly people from all over the country travel to harrogate to visit this god forsaken place. It has a reputation for being classy and exclusive. In reality its a place where poor old people que for an hour for an overpriced cup of tea and a chance to pretend they have class and money....they dont!

Give it up, we all know you had to starve yourself for a fucking month to afford lunch there.

FYI fakers, the rich dont wear man made fibres.Cafe culture, though its hardly Rome. I literally cant make it through the day without a large Latte from Nero's.What town would be complete without the walking dead.

I was going to ask her to do the Bryanboy pose, but decided it probably wasnt for the best. I'd probably just frighten the bitch.
When i returned home I read the rest of The Bible, aka GQ Style
You know how I live for debauchery right, well imagine my delight at finding an entire section dedicated to it. For me though its a little 10 minutes ago, i am so clearly at the forefront of fashion and I was raving about the delights of debauchery months ago. Obviously the editors of GQ have been reading my blog and decided to jump on my fabulous bandwagon.

Debauchery it seems is the new black.

This is their interpritation of the subject......im sure ive seen this pose before.
Look familiar........... I posted this hideous pic way way back on 11th August, one can only assume I was the inspiration for their photo shoot.
GQ, im flattered truely I am, afterall imitation is the biggest form of compliment, but be warned no one does debauchery like I do.

Now immagine my horror, at finding MY exact coat featured . How fucking dare they, now every tom dick and harry will be buying it. Moving on, I thought I'd share some of my vital statistics, just look at some of the ways which people have found my site.Do I really want some one reading about me, who really wants to read about "filthy gay hobo's" or about being "beaten whilst wanking"...Dont answer that. I think that perhaps the pesron searching for "Carbonara sauce" may not have found quite what they were looking for......
Who the fuck is "Greg Rockwell" and why is he nude? and what on gods earth is a "tranny gate"

Just a few of lifes unanswerable questions.

There are some wierd and wonderfull people out there, and I love them all, well most, OK some, well just a few really.


This video shows exactly how I came out to my parents, obviously I was far better dressed.

Now Ive met many a crack whore in my time, but none come close to beating this one. Praise Jesus for Crack Whores.

"Ive got a fucking 15million dollar fucking car" -

Mother fucking priceless, I'd love to meet this bitch on a night out.

Later Bitches.xx

Posted by Edd at 19.10.06

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Friday

The Thirteenth Tale / The Gossip

Id just like to offer my congratulations to Diane a friend of mother dearest, for making the US best sellers list. I find it encouracing that a resident of the fabulous Harrogate (the Poshest town in the north of england) can become a huge success state side. It gives me a great deal of reasurance in the States.
I have to confess I have yet to read her book, however my copy is on order, courtesy of mother dearest (it had better be a signed first edition) , apparently its a dam good read.

Everyone buy the fucking book, well all read it and we'll start the Insidethegaygate book club.

Moving on, I was listening to UK radio 1 earlier, and almost shit myself when this song came on. Its by a band I wrote about a few months ago, heres the link ...(LINK)...anyway theyre finally getting mainstream airplay and Im soo pleased.

"The Gossip" are fucking amazing. Here's a couple of tasters, download them at itunes, or cheat like me and use bearshare.com (its free)

Miss E!!!! Im not sure if this is before or after you leave for the Land of OZ but if you are in the UK theyre playing in Leeds on 1st November. Buzz me up if you wanna.



If you liked that check out theese (there are sooo many more on Youtube). If not fuck off and die (love you really).

Its official, the Drummer is the sexiest guy on the Planet. Fuck Wentworth Miller.

Posted by Edd at 13.10.06

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Thursday

Love gay.

Happy Coming Out Day.

Spread the word.

Posted by Edd at 12.10.06

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Wednesday

Prison Bitch

Im decidedly over the "whats the meaning of life" moment I was having yesterday. I did give it a great deal of thought and heres my profound conclusions:

"Lifes as bitch, and then you die"

or theres the "Harrogate Meaning of Life".... "Lifes a bitch, you marry one, he/she takes all your money in the divorce court, you die"

then ofcourse there the "Insidethegaygate Meaning of Life"....... "Lifes a bitch, but atleast ill die rich"

Who fucking cares. We live, we shop, we die. End of.

Anyway, its comfort food wednesday, and my chef has the night off and just look what i threw together. None of this Jamie Oliver - feed an entire family for a fiver crap.

Its the biggest piece of Irish Free range salmon youve ever seen in your life, steamed to perfection drizzlled with M&S luxury carbonarra sauce all over freshly made tagliatelli
Ok granted it does look like some sloppy gruell my boyfirend (aka wentworth miller) would eat in Prison Break But believe me it is heaven, and so is he. Do they serve Wild Irish Salmon Carbonara Tagliatelli in United States Peneteniaries? NO I don't think they do,

but if they do........forgive farther for i have sinned, lock me up and throw away the mother fucking key. I want Wentworth Millers babies.

Ill leave you with a song Ive loved for about 2-3 years now, one which I never tire of.

Its pashion, lust, pain and anger warped around a haunting electro beat. If I made porn, this would be my theme tune. You have to listen the the whole song tho, the ending in awsome.

Now this is the short radio version, the ablum version has about 2 minutes of painfull orgasmic screaming at the end, and trust me on this its pure sin. What i love about is the fact I feel the mood even though I cant understand the words, She could be singing about shopping in Warlmart for all I know- though if she was singing about warlmart , I'd put my money on her singing about fucking a stranger in the alcohol isle next to the managers special Vodka.

I would love this song to be played at my funeral. Re-phrase, I'd fucking love it. I can picture it now my whole family fleeing the church, traumatised for life, reduced to spending their entire fortune on a life time of therapy and rehab. Dont believe me? you havent heart the album version, if you had you'd change you mind, its not exactly music to mourn to.

Vive La Fete - Noir Desire



Later Bitches.xx

Posted by Edd at 11.10.06

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Tuesday

SAD

Im feeling pretty flat today. Infact Ive been feeling the way for some time now.

All around me everything's changing. The whole world is in transition. Friends are moving away, coleagues embracing new career paths, my TV shows are ending, science fiction is becoming science fact.The whole world is evolving, changing before my very eyes.

I however am locked in stasis.

Remember the song "What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours" - bollocks. Its the same shit on a different day.Its just all so mundane. Theres nothing new and of interest to keep my flame burning. If im honest with myself I am totally disollusioned with my sorry excuse of a life.

Is this all there is? Living this shallow, egotistical existance. Where happiness, if you can call it that, is derived from spending money.

Over the past year I have become a cynic. What happened to the eternal optimist I used to be, and when did I become this self-immage obsessed wannabe?

Some say its SAD (seasonal affectiveness disorder). I think Im having a quater life crisis.

One thing which does keep me smiling is the silly little videos on youtube.

Ill leave you with Mr Pringles' Press Conference.

Remember bitches, once I pop, I truely can not stop.

Posted by Edd at 10.10.06

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Sunday

Yorkshire Airlines

Yes I may be an international jetsetting pre madonna, but I am Yorkshire born and mostly bred (or inbred as the londonders would have you believe).

Yorkshire is my roots and this little video encompasses everything that is Yorkshire. Who needs BA when you have Yorkshire Airlines.

Now I need your help,with a purchase I made.

Any one who follows fashion, that basically means anyone who lives outside the US (excluding NewYorkers) knows that theres a fine line between looking chic and looking like a "dumpster diving diva". Sorry to the Americans reading but theres a time and place for sweat pants, high waisted jeans and BIG hair, and 2006 is not it.

Now I was bored yesterday and after religiously studying the Bible, aka GQ Style Magazine (Mens Fall Winter 06/07 edition) I realized I just simply had to purchase a tweedy country style overcoat.

Now heres the one I ended up buying. I love the colour but im not entirely convinced it doesn't scream Hobo Homo.I wish to god I had a photographer on my payroll, taking photos of yourself is a lot harder than you think. Basically, the jacket is 3/4 length wool overcoat in a tweedy gray with a military twist.

Think "Russian army general meets English country gent at Paris Fashion Week."The moody shot.... Ive just found out that all of Yorkshire Airlines flights are fully booked......The cheeky pose. I feel like I should pe pointing meaningfully to some non existent point, in a zoolander stylee.Now heres the money shot.I think I missed my calling as top fashion house model (Dont worry, I wont give up my day job). Any model agents reading send me an email....I'll work for free....... fuck it, if you could get me a magazine shot I'd pay you the fucking money.

Or, I could be Hollywood's next big leading man......A box office hit, im sure.

Leave me a comment and let me know HONESTLY what you think, I still have 2 weeks to return the jacket, the last thing I wanna do is look like a tramp.

Later Bitches.xx

Posted by Edd at 8.10.06

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Saturday

Patsy Stone = GOD

Eddie and Patsy taught me everything I know.

They are everything I aspire to be and more. They stand for everything thats good and right in the world.

Miss C, sweetie darling, this is how I picture you working in Harvey Nicks.



The following is the best seven minutes I have ever spent.

Posted by Edd at 7.10.06

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Monday

Corporate Fucking Law

Its Now Day three of my hangover. What the hell did I do to myself on Friday night? Will this hangover ever end? Will it plague me for the rest of my life? Will George Michael ever make it through a week without being arrested? Only time will tell....

I still feel lousy, and yes, I still look like a dancer from M.J's Thriller Video.
Begrudgingly moving on.
Ive probably bitched about this several times before but Im too lazy to actually check.

Are there any Corporate Lawyers reading this? Why and how did you do it?

For part of my Accountancy studies I have to learn the basics (all of them) of "Corporate and Business Law" and my god does it suck. My exam is in December and I feel like I will never in a million years remember the syllabus, never mind in the 2 months that I actually have. There is just far too much to remember.

What pisses me off most thought is the fact I even have to study Law at all. I want to be an accountant. If I wanted to study law I become a fucking lawyer.

Normally when I study I manage to find topics of interest within the syllabus and it seems to pull the whole course together. With Corporate law however, there is not one redeeming feature.

If I ever pass this module It will be a miracle.

On a final note, if any of you still think that America wasnt behing 9/11 pleae watch this video. If you still think that it was Alqaeda/Sadam/The Tooth Fairy, basically any one except America then your a complete dumbass.
Heres the trailer, if you want to see the whole film, click on the text below.


Mark my words, just like we as children read about how Hitler bombed his own country inorder to start a war against Europe, our childen and our childrens children will read in their school text books how the American government terrorised innocent Americans for their own financial and political gain. At a cost of thousands upon thousands of lives world wide, and counting.

Posted by Edd at 2.10.06

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Sunday

Day 2 of my Hangover

Remember the ducks I was telling you about....Well here they are chillin with me whilst i have my morning marlboro at work on friday.
Enough about the nature. This blog in its entirety is dedicated to the nocturnal watering holes of the self destructive animals we call humans.

Friday night.

The ever fabulous Miss C, Mr S2 and I headed to leeds for a night of naughtiness. After several drinks in Fibre we found ourselves at the re-opening night of Club Mission, one of our old haunts. Kiss Da Funk was the event, the drinks flowed and the medication plentifull
When the club closed at 4am we were still feling the music so we headed to High Fibre for the after party.

For me, the most bizare moment of the night was when a very large and intimidating bouncer pinned me against the wall in Fibre, pointed to a very obvious looking crack whore tranny and said

"Bitch, you wanna hire my slut, she'll give you a night to remember"

Im sure he/she would, which is precisely why I declined his "tempting" offer. Do I have a sign on my head saying "crack whore tranny magnet"?

When Fibre closed at 6am we ended up at a very random after-after club partying till 8:30am. The last club was quite a strange place filled with scary drugged up misfits refusing to give up on the night and dance till dawn. This photo was taked 8ish am. It says it all.
To say we looked a little rough when we left the final club would be the greatest understatment of my entire life. But, despite looking like shit and feeling like my body could shut down at any given moment I had an amazing night. One Ill treasure for many years to come.
This is what the world looks like at 9:30 am when your just getting home from the clubs, still buzzing your tits off, and you have never been more certain that you will never, ever sleep.
The worst of my hangover has now passed, but what cant be escaped is the fact that my lips have swelled up to rediculous proportions, they actually look like theyre going to pop.

All in a night.

Posted by Edd at 1.10.06

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